Sunday, 19 September 2010

George III

Your full name: King George III of the United Kingdom of Great Britain, Ireland, and totally America too.

Your contact address: I'm not sure I have one of these; I think my nurse stole it.

Your education history: I have been highly educated by the trees in the palace gardens, and also by my horse; she knows many secrets.

Your employment history: I am assured that I rule over the lands of Britain, Ireland, Hanover, America, and the purple elephants.

Please answer the following questions:
What are your interests outside work?
My advisors tell me that 'work' is another word for 'left-handed marmalade jars'; as I have no interest in these, I am forced to the conclusion that all my interests are outside 'work'.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?
The people laud my great and personal victory over the American rebels, aided only by my army of gerbils - or so I am reliably informed.

Describe a situation in which you have worked as part of a team.
When I advised my close friend the King of the Laburnums on the best method of defeating the Rhododendron invaders, he followed my guidance to the letter. I believe that qualifies as teamwork.

What could you bring to the job?
I have a gift for getting the most out of every situation: from the untamed forest I gather my greatest counsellors, while from the American rebellion I brought about the greatest nation the world has ever seen, except the Empire of the Footballs.

Why do you want this job?
I'm not sure; my nurse told me to write this.
King George III of somewhere or other, I forget

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