Tuesday, 5 July 2011

William III & II

Your full name: King William III of England and Ireland, II of Scotland, Prince of Orange. Also France. Very definitely France. Can you let Louis know for me?

Your contact address: England, naturally. They invited me here, and I respect that.

Your education history: I spent seven years at the prestigious University of Leiden, preparing myself for the demanding responsibilities of a Stadtholder and, later, a completely invited King of England alongside my wife Queen Mary.

Your employment history: I'm not sure we need to go into that.

Please answer the following questions:
What are your interests outside work?
I am devoutly (if you will excuse the frivolity) interested in sustaining the Protestant Churches. If someone will remind me which one I'm part of right now, I will get right on that.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?
I have steadfastly prosecuted England's noble crusade against the false king Louis of France, who displays his true colours by supporting the abdicator James in his futile efforts to steal my crown (which I share with my wife, of course). It isn't about power, of course - it's about justice.

Describe a situation in which you have worked as part of a team.
I was part of the Glorious Revolution, in which my noble, ah, entourage and I swept the minions of the papist coward James from this sceptred isle. I am now continuing my teamwork by co-ruling this mighty nation with my wife, beloved of all, who has redeemed the reputation of the house of Stuart after the disaster wrought by her father.

What could you bring to the job?
I could bring 15,000 heavily-armed Dutch soldiers. Since I would imagine you don't want that, I recommend surr- ah, seriously considering my application.

Why do you want this job?
Firstly, to ensure the traitor James doesn't get it. Secondly, to promote the spread of Protestantism. Thirdly, it's not about power, but ruling places is getting to be something of a hobby of mine.
King William III of quite a few places - but always room for another

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